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Ten Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Possibly get Involved with Frostbite
Go do Frostbite, they said. It’ll be an exhilarating experience, they said. Promotion for Frostbite has begun attempting to lure unsuspecting students into getting involved with this outright silly game. Past participants will rave about their experience, recalling their Frostbite days some of the best days of their lives. Some even pull out the team bonding card saying things like “you start as friends but leave as family”, they will crusade until you begin filling out a registration form. You might even believe them and their life-changing testimonies, but don’t be fooled, it’s all a ruse to hook you into doing it. All the positives you’ll hear about this absurd competition is pure baloney and here are 10 reasons why it’s best to avoid this
super awesome amazing event at all costs:
1. Bitten by the frost
Let’s start with the name. Google frostbite and what do you find? Actually, don’t. But if you do, you’ve been warned. It’ll be difficult to unsee the results. #gangrene
2. Reconnecting with friends after the holidays is boring and bothersome
Do you really want to know what your pals did over the break? I mean, that’s why Facebook exists, no? Settling into the new term is way more bearable when you spend quality time with schoolwork.
3. Group work
You know you love it. NOT. Well, the main premise of Frostbite is to complete various activities and challenges as a team to garner points in order to win. Thus, the entire competition screams collaboration and teamwork. The horror!
4. It’s too much fun
Too much fun means busting out the fun repellant. No one likes carrying that around and having to spray it on every 2 minutes. Plus, we all know what happens when a lot of fun is had. Studies have shown that too much of one thing can be lethal. If there’s one reason why you shouldn’t sign up for Frostbite, it’s this one.
5. Stay away if the only food you eat is always only bought by you
Beware. Participants are given FREE FOOD. Snacks AND some meals. If that doesn’t detract you, I don’t know what will.
6. Chase after an abominable snowman?
Yeah, no thanks. And aren’t they only found in the Himalayas?
7. Bribery is allowed
Do you really want to be involved with an event that endorses cheating? Apparently, there’s even “bribery guidelines”. Do I need to list more reasons?
8. Points, surprizes, people, and prizes
Points to be earned, surprises to thrill, relationships to build, and prizes to be won…There is just too much going on here. All of which brings us back to #4.
9. You have to give back to the community
What has your community ever done for you? Volunteering and being of service to others is totally overrated. And you have better things to do than be a good citizen.
10. The grand prize is a paid play date with snow!? (aka an all-expense-paid Ski Trip)
Who decided gliding on snow, let alone being surrounded by it, is an enjoyable thing? Snow = cold = freezing = frozen = frostbite = ouch
I may have said Frostbite is the worst thing you could ever do, but in all seriousness, the time has come to test your might, mind, and mania by competing in the university’s official winter games. Let’s be honest who doesn’t want their team name on the coveted Frostbite cup and an all-expense-paid ski trip?! Frostbite lets you connect with friends after the break and build school spirit, but most of all, have fun (lots of it) as you resettle into the new school term. Whether you’re a thrill seeker or chill keeper we guarantee this competition will be your cup of tea cone of snow. Now go! Mark your calendars from Jan. 25 – 29 gather your comrades and register your team before Dec. 11!
5th year Arts student, Dianne Honorio, is tranquil as a forest, but on fire within. As swift as a coursing river, with the force of a great typhoon, and mysterious as the dark side of the moon.